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| back for an update on a blog because other people all of a sudden started reviving xanga...
anyway.. i had a glimpse yesterday of the "times of summer"
when there was no drama. no anger. no fights.
just fun. happiness. and willingness to be with each other.
but... that was all. it lasted for a short time. but it was definitely worth it.
for the past month now all i have seen are failed adventures
failed attempts at love. and failed attempts at friendship.
i slowly start to feel a void that can only be filled by the joy and laughter of friends
but lately..... there hasn't been anything to laugh about...
these events make me ask one question.
What happened?
Love Always,
Jason
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| *sigh* When will senioritis ever end.
Anyway, made a decision that writing is a great way to express myself without feeling too much embarrassment.
So, poems? Recently, someone in my school made a poetry book.
Yeah, a 17-year old... Wild isn't it? What overachievers we have in my school...
Anyway, my method of poetry is ultimately hip-hop.
Now, I don't see any point in expression if it doesn't have a beat, rhythm and rhymes to go along with it.
Then, it becomes a rambling like this entry is quickly becoming.
Funny, i'm able to devote time to do this short but nice essay, but not enough time to do my college apps.
Lazyness is still one of the greatest mysteries of life i have yet to figure out..
Love Always,
Jason
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| Great Scott, Senioritis couldn't have hit me worse.
It's now 4:20 and I am only half way through with my work and yet because I see so many other people's
xangas revived, I feel the need to as well.
Anyway, life has been very difficult to deal with these days.
Every day almost, news of newfound drama flood my ears and as the day grows old,
I realize, some things can be just so unfair in this world.
My naiive layers are sort of peeling off right now and I'm facing the world and
seeing it in it's brutal truth.
Yes, harsh words I know, but I felt the need to put it in such blunt words because of it's severity.
And yes i know, this is the time to turn to God.
But, slowly church is becoming more mundane, the same people are (without trying) the same people
and nothing can be done about that.
The sermons also seem to be passing through the other ear as I sit and doze off past them.
The way my mind processes it is as "extra material" that does not need to be kept in my head.
So, rundown is, the world sucks, I'm not in touch with God, and i'm spiraling down
a path where I don't know i'll end up.
All I have now are the morals I have lived with, but because I care of other people's views of me, I have no other choice but to listen to people's criticisms about me and try to make myself into what everyone would want me to be.
But, even that I am failing horribly in as well, because God knows that i can't be that many people at once.
My habit says to forget trying to become a better person while my morals tell me to not be a prick and stop acting tough and change for people every once in a while.
Do I play the marionette that gets laughed at?
Or do I play the marionette that is stagnant and gets booed at?
But, being as flavorful as possible, Tupac did get one thing right. "That's just the way it is"
Love Always,
Jason
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| Heyyy yooo!!
Jason here again with his random web entry after millions of years of not writing.. Spring Break has been excellent so far aside from the sad moments but it's always great to think on the + side of things!. My mommy got me a nice ring that looks like the ring of the lord of the rings but spray painted white. :) obviously happy about that. but freakin hw is stressing me out.tttt! freakin esslinger gave our english class (note: english 11h NOTTT AP LIT.) a freaking 300-400 page book to read! WHAT THE F? .AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Definitely a memorable spring break! though! lol. not a very productive one though. i suddenly realize that ap's are a freakin month away... and finals 2 months.. i'm soo screwed... omgosh.. i hope everything is all right when i get back to school *crosses fingers* and i didn't forget any assignments. all right. now i'm tired and i must sleep GOOD NIGHT! :)
Love Always,
Jason
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| GOING ABSOLUTELY OUT OF MY MIND. I DUNNO WHAT IS HAPPENING IN SCHOOL THESE DAYS. OMGOSH. many many things to do this week and many responsibilities i need to take.. what the f??? o well makes life interesting, excluding the school stuff. But, if you think about it, there will never be an easier time for us in our lives than our lives in school. I'm now thoroughly scared about life outside school. So you guys should forget school and come have fun with me everyday. :) lol. i kid i kid. i don't wanna be the reason why there has been a sudden rise in asian bums in ny. lol. anyway people should go back to xanga. and people should come to Give Thanks on Nov. 25 2006 so they can see me mc. it's $10 and remember to bring money for donations and t-shirts. __edit____ it is actually free admission and $10 for a t-shirt so come if you got nothing else to do on a sat. night. pshh. lol. | | |
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